20/11/2011

Aim for this ending.
Do a better job than he did.

And may that be my motto till it's all over.

25/10/2011

请不要以为你很理解我

我不是不愿意带你
次数什么的，看错就是真的看错
忽悠你对我没好处呢
所以呐
我心里的苦
娃子，你懂屁啊？

[福利] 第五弹

Annie Are You OK?
So, Annie Are You OK
Are You OK, Annie
Annie Are You OK?
So, Annie Are You OK
Are You OK, Annie
Annie Are You OK?
So, Annie Are You OK?
Are You OK, Annie?
Annie Are You OK?
So, Annie Are You Ok, Are You Ok, Annie?

20/10/2011

有时事情没你想像中的如意

不代表你需要绝望
不代表你需要诅咒你身边的一切
自暴自弃又何苦呢？

孩子，世界不是绕着你打转的

17/10/2011

花開的時候嘴珍貴 花落了就枯萎
錯過了花期花怪誰 花需要人安慰
一生要哭多少回 才能不流淚
一生要留多少淚 才能不心碎
我眼角眉梢的憔悴 沒有人看得會
當初的誓言太完美 像落花滿天飛
冷冷的夜里北風吹 找不到人安慰
當初的誓言太完美 讓相思化成灰
一生要干多少杯 才能不喝醉
一生要醉多少回 才能不怕黑
我眼角眉梢的憔悴 沒有人看得會
當初的誓言太完美 像落花滿天飛
冷冷的夜里北風吹 找不到人安慰
當初的誓言太完美 讓相思化成灰
冷冷的夜里北風吹 找不到人安慰
當初的誓言太完美 讓相思化成灰
花開的時候嘴珍貴 花落了就枯萎
錯過了花期花怪誰 花需要人安慰

虽然没林心如的版本的那v587，
但是有种清淡的感觉
个人表示很喜欢。

Doris姐什么时候再给瓦高歌几首啊~

13/10/2011

很久很久以前就很想说这句话了

抽烟的死全家

[福利] 第四弹

天寒地冻 唯有吐息带有一丝暖意
相偎相依 分享着微弱的生命鼓动

如此 珍而重之的回忆
即将 化为过往的眷恋

如丝雨。
丝雨如雾的放学后。
如晚霞。
教室那如火的景致。
如冬雪。
邂逅之日的白夜，黑伞。


有你在，只是笑笑，我就好幸福。
好安心，尽管心怀不安。
有你在，只是走走，我就好开心。
在一起，却又远在天边。

短短的一瞬。
透过叶间洒下的暖意引你我一时驻足。
但是，你笑着说，我们终将站在同处。
……一直希望，能从某人口中听到这句话。

——那 正是
如梦似幻的 岁月的遗痕。
/空之境界

10/10/2011

好久好久没上来了呢！

最近看的东西有点多，特么的忙碌
每天的无限孕妇。。。
几天前的那杀猪似的剖腹产子 （矮油我擦啊啊啊）

不扯淡，进入正题！

人的思想呢，是一个好奇妙的东西。
它不止能把你带到宇宙的边界，黑洞的深渊，
最强大的是，那个联想啊
一个东西能连上一个，接着再连连连
天朝v5不解释啊！╮(╯▽╰)╭

瓦当然不会告诉乃，
这个是怎么联想出来的哦~

今天看了个童鞋的感想。。
乃想知道，高傲。。是什么吗？
乃想知道，一些基本的做人道理吗？
乃想了解，生命真正的意义吗？
乃想真正。。。。活着吗？

“高傲来源于能够自信的本事，比如思想、血缘，与众不同又能出类拔萃的才赋，以及种种令自己感到优越于其他人的素质，但这仅仅是已经拥有属于自身的财富。
做一个吝啬的人，那么只会靠近比自己更强的人或事物，以期获得更多的利益维系仅有的高傲。
如果你想获得友情和快乐，那么就做一个慷慨而重视平等的人吧。
人与人之间需要相互尊重、互相给予及帮助。你有的，应该与伙伴们分享，并不要用尖刻的眼光轻视别人，每个人都会有属于自己的长处。
也许你拥有的长处的比较多，但你不会是最好的，也不可能比最差的完全强。
许多弱小的人，他们也许不拥有超群的才华，却常常拥有一颗善良的心，或热爱于某种你看不起或你不能拥有的事物。
你强于人，就应把你强盛的给予需要帮助的人，使他们尽可能与你一样强盛，这样你就会获得比孤独的高傲更多的回报，比如友情和温馨。
即便你不把你的才华与人分享，那么也要懂得与人为善就会获得快乐的道理。
每个人都会找到属于自己的方向，你也不能完全蔑视那些饮酒却不能吟酒诗的人，他们在饮酒畅谈的时候一样能获得许多快乐，或许是一些低俗的乐趣，因为他们的文化和人生观取决于他们的态度。
如果你觉得与他们在一起是种自甘堕落，那你不妨尝试与他们交流更美好的事物，感动他们，或许他们会觉得与你交流能获得更好的滋味。
你也许能因此改变他们，他们或许会因此与你同样高雅。这取决于你平等的与他们交往，而非站在高处不停的厌恶他们。
要学会看到别人的长处，同样也应学会看清自己的短处，尝试改变，那么生活总有新的味道。
祝福你啊！”

人都是那么的犯贱不珍惜？
拥有的时候不好好珍惜，有朝一日真的失去了才知道后悔…人真够悲哀的！

朋友，听话点。
把你心里那仅有的高傲
干干净净的抹杀了吧！



银酱私宠❤夏夏
在此停笔

[福利] 第三弹

女：剪一段时光缓缓流淌
流进了月色中微微荡漾
弹一首小荷淡淡的香
美丽的琴音就落在我身旁
萤火虫点亮夜的星光
谁为我添一件梦的衣裳
推开那扇心窗远远地望
谁采下那一朵昨日的忧伤
我像只鱼儿在你的荷塘
只为和你守候那皎白月光
游过了四季荷花依然香
等你宛在水中央
萤火虫点亮夜的星光
谁为我添一件梦的衣裳
推开那扇心窗远远地望
谁采下那一朵昨日的忧伤
合：我像只鱼儿在你的荷塘
只为和你守候那皎白月光
游过了四季荷花依然香
等你宛在水中央
男白：那时年轻的你
和你水中的模样
依然不变的仰望
满天迷人的星光
谁能走进你的心房
采下一朵莲
是那夜的芬芳
还是你的发香
男：荷塘呀荷塘
你慢慢慢慢唱哟
月光呀月光
你慢慢慢慢听哟
鱼儿呀鱼儿
你慢慢慢慢游哟
淡淡的淡淡的
淡淡的月光
合：我像只鱼儿在你的荷塘
只为和你守候那皎白月光
游过了四季荷花依然香
等你宛在水中央
我像只鱼儿在你的荷塘
只为和你守候那皎白月光
游过了四季荷花依然香
等你宛在水中央
等你宛在水中央

[福利] 第二弹

我和你 人海茫茫邂逅
一颗心 苦苦为爱在守侯
明明是 不可能
却逞强 不放手
爱越深 就痛得 越难受
奢望你 给我的温柔
到了最后 都化作乌有
错过了 的缘分
我不再 找借口
这段情 到了结束的时候
如果离开你远走
不要看着我泪流
我会默默祝福你 到永久
彼此错过的缘分
只是错误的邂逅
我和你 一起轻轻的放手
不在乎 啊天长和地久
请珍惜 这曾经的拥有
感谢你 生命里
和我 一起牵过手
这一生 回忆有你就足够

读白：在茫茫人海中
遇到就是缘分
即使错过，
也是彼此内心的一份收获！
谢谢你 给我的一切，
我爱你！真心祝福你幸福！

我和你 人海茫茫邂逅
一颗心 苦苦为爱在守侯
明明是 不可能
却逞强 不放手
爱越深 就痛得 越难受
如果离开你远走
不要看着我泪流
我会默默祝福你 到永久
彼此错过的缘分
只是错误的邂逅
我和你 一起轻轻的放手
我和你 人海茫茫邂逅
一颗心 苦苦为爱在守侯
明明是 不可能
却逞强 不放手
爱越深 就痛得 越难受
如果离开你远走
不要看着我泪流
我会默默祝福你 到永久
彼此错过的缘分
只是错误的邂逅
我和你 一起轻轻的放手
不在乎 啊天长和地久
请珍惜 这曾经的拥有
感谢你 生命里
和我 一起牵过手
这一生 回忆有你就足够

读白：宝贝，谢谢你给我答案，
这一辈子我都不会忘记！我爱你！

18/09/2011

愿这个思念化做一盏灯飞向你身边，
希望它能照亮你前行的路，
让你的生命亦能绽放出绚丽的花朵，
折射出灿烂的光芒。

我想和你说

最美的不是下雨天，而是曾与你躲过雨的那屋檐。

[福利] 第一弹 18以上

在我的女朋友在和我认识之前，就不是处女了，但是我们的感情一直很好，虽然我没有十分计较，但有时在内心深处却总是隐隐作痛，所以每当我们吵架的时候，我都会问她这是为什么？她每次都说是因为她当时不懂事，但我的心里还是很介意的。 　　

那年我到了她家，她的父母很喜欢我，她妹妹（在吉隆坡读先修班）也很欢迎我的到来。虽然她没有我女朋友漂亮，但 一看也就知道是个很清纯，很好的女孩。

当他们知道我们经常为此吵架的时候，那种表情是很难形容的，她父母虽然同意我们的婚事，始终还说是他们女儿不好，对不起我。我们住 在二楼，其他人在楼下住。 　　

那天晚饭时候，她的叔叔请我们去喝酒，我那天也不知道为什么喝了很多的酒，简直就是大醉，女朋友扶着我回到她 家，我就睡了，半夜当我醒来的时候，头还是疼的厉害，昏昏沉沉的，发现她已经睡着了，我当时就来了兴致，想做了，当年我们都有裸睡的习惯，所以没有其他过 程，我就想进入了，但当时我感觉她很紧，而且没有以前的配合，我以为她也喝多了，就用力进入她，突然她好像万般痛苦似的，在我进入的同时，全身都在颤抖， 紧紧的抓住我的胳膊，我被抓的很疼，我依旧运动着，享受着，也许是酒精的缘故，我坚持了很长的时间，慢慢的她也不知不觉的迎合我，最后，我射到了她的里 面，当我下来吻她的时候，感觉她的脸满是水，我以为是她的汗水，然后我就搂着她睡着了，她也自然的抱着我…… 　　

第二天当我醒来的时候，发现女朋友躺在我身边，已经哭得是泪人一般，我问她： “你为什么 哭了？” 她说：“你已经得到了你想要的处女。”

我一脸茫然，她掀开被子，我惊奇得发现在雪白得床单上有手掌大小的一片血迹。　　

我开始回想，回想，难道我。。。？　　

就在这时，楼下她父母叫我，我立刻下楼，眼前，她父母老泪纵横，说：“孩子，我们觉得对 不起你，让你受委屈了，是我们的夏夏不配你，所以我们就想了这个办法，让她妹妹和你同床了，她是个好姑娘，就算我们给你的补偿吧，希望你以后能和小雪 好好过日子，只要你对她好，我们就放心了，小妹早上就走了，到学校去了，你也不要找她了，她是自愿 的。”　　

我……我……我…………我无语，我简直就是五雷轰顶，我究竟做了什么啊，当我知道 了事情的真相后，我无语，我被感动了，我深深的向二老鞠了一躬，收拾我的行囊，默默的离开了，我的心太乱了，我该何去何从，我该怎么面对女友和小姨子，怎 么面对她们的父母。 　　

我没有回头，直接就去了吉隆坡，在那个繁华的大街上，寻找我的那份失 落。　　

我终于找到了她，她正在宿舍洗衣服，看到我的到来，她先是吃惊，后来又会心的笑了笑，不是很勉 强的那种笑。 　　我没有说什么，拉住她的手，紧紧的抱紧了她，她也抱紧了我说： “算我父母没有看错你，知道你会来。” 　　

我依然没有说话，心里很不是滋味。 “你能原谅我吗？”我没有底气的问。 “你嫁给我吧，我会等你的，我要负责任。”

“我姐姐怎么办？“她问我，我无语。　　

当夜我们在宾馆才真正的睡到了一起，她的风情万种迷住了我，直到最后我们都累了，她问我： “处女好吗？”我说： “很好。你等我吧，等你毕业了我就娶你，好吗？“ 她说： “好啊。”

三年过去了，我娶了我的小姨子，她成为我的妻子。 　

在这三年里，我还是经常找我的女友，但她就像在地球上消失了一样，问她父母就说到沙巴打工了，和家里没有联系 了，已经三年了。　　

就在我们结婚以后，我们回她老家看父母时，我接到了她父母的电话，叫 我们直接去吉隆坡的医院，这时妻子的脸色极为难看，当我们赶到医院的时候，我看到了久违的她，静静的躺在病床上，正在用呼吸机维持着生命，看到我们来了，她 勉强的，挣扎的动了动，但没有成功，我跑过去，泪水已经湿透了我的眼睛。

三年了，她怎么会变成这个样子：没有一点血色的脸，瘦瘦的，没有一点神情的眼睛， 我的心都碎了，看到我来了，她眼睛里闪过一道亮光，说： “你和我妹结婚了吗？”

我点点头，她欣慰的笑了笑，“希望你们幸福，对她好些，我就放心了，”她也哭 了，我抓住她的手，问她： “你这几年去哪了？”

她苦笑，“看到你，我就没有心愿了，我要走了，说完就闭上了眼睛。

“夏夏，夏夏，你醒醒，不要睡啊，我爱你啊，你不要走啊！” 在场的人都哭了……

在她姐姐的房间里，那个我们曾经一起睡过的房间里悬挂了一个放大的照片，是她的遗像，依然是笑的那么迷人，我沉默 了。　　

她父母走到我的跟前，告诉了我真像：原来在三年前，她就患了绝症，将不久于人世，她怕我伤心，才在她家 亲属的帮助下，给我和她妹妹撮合在一起，然后她就离开了家，默默的观察我们的进展，在我们结婚前她就不行了，一直在等我结婚，再看我最后一眼，就安心的走 了。

我依然无语，仅以我的故事，向那些相亲相爱的人们致敬！

08/09/2011

知道这个世界上最残忍的事是什么吗？
就是当你以为你已经找到了自己的归宿，
却看到它一块块的在你眼前倒塌，粉碎。
以上这张图，是我从我的私人帖吧里截出来的。
是以为今晚的感想，给读者们的小小福利吧？
开学了几天，各种没动力，各种颓废
这样下去总不可以吧？
外观看起来，正常啊
俄语老师还说我变了，说话少了，不再口无忌惮了。
是么？我不觉得。不是说我成熟还是什么了。
也许这就是所谓的看破红尘吧？
所谓的什么都不管，什么都不想管
只想躲在被单下不出来。

我 真孤僻了么？
好多隐私开始不敢写在这儿了
觉得也是时候开始找回当初那个最真实的我了
好多东西需要改善
好多东西等着我去做
一个生活等着我去充实

是时候告诉自己要振作了，
把当初那个有爱有动力的少年带回来吧！


嘿嘿
很多时候，我们对那些看不开而自杀的人各种辱骂
哼哼，就是没人停下来看看
我们的世界究竟多丑陋

~可耻的夏夏~
~匿了~

23/08/2011

I just realized it's been a while since I actually did some writing, and well we have here, a simple piece of work. Tried my hand at writing something with an old-ish feel, and here we have the tale of a blacksmith... and his vengeance.

Do note that the first verses depict the cause of his revenge.

The Lost Blacksmith
Attend the tale of Sanger Zonvold,
A tale of treachery woven by the hands of God.

Fifteen years ago…
There was a blacksmith and his wife,
And she was beautiful,
A foolish blacksmith and his wife,
She was his reason and his life,
And she was beautiful,
And she was virtuous,
And he was… naïve,
There was another man who saw,
That she was beautiful,
A pious vulture of the law,
Who with a gesture of his claw,
Removed the sentry from his plate,
Then there was nothing but to wait,
And she would fall,
So soft,
So young,
So lost and oh so beautiful!

Sven sighed as he set foot upon the shores of his homeland again.

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of being caged. An eternity spent in darkness. He will pay, there’s no doubt.

The once familiar streets, which were used to be illuminated with warmth were now cloaked with frigid shadows, stank of malice and malevolence.

Sven shouldered his rucksack and trod slowly toward where his old smithy used to stand. What lay at his destination rooted him to the spot, as the ruins of his previous life held his gaze till the sun dipped below the horizon and the moon rose. A tap on his arm jerked him out of his reverie. Whirling, he beheld a blonde-haired young man with a dreadful scar across his forehead standing behind him.

“What happened here?” Sven implored.

“Fifteen years ago, there was a blacksmith who worked here. He was taken away by the guards, and no one has heard of him ever again.”

“Taken away by the guards? And his crime?”

“Foolishness. You see, he had this beautiful wife. The night after they took him away, Judge Branstein, aye, the honorable Judge Branstein, sent his henchman Ingram Wildschwein to abduct the blacksmith’s wife.”

“What befell her?”

“She was imprisoned. Fucked to no end every night like some harlot. Rumor has it that she poisoned herself two months later, unable to bear the shame. Poor thing.”

“NO!” Sven wailed as his hands clutched his head. His memories of his wife Euphemia le Britannia gushed through his mind as a volatile mix of emotions spun wildly within him, depriving him of the strength to stand and driving him to his knees in despair.

“So it’s you after all, Master Sanger!”

“No! Sanger Zonvold is dead! It’s Sven now. Sven Petrovich. And he will have his revenge.” Sven replied, his eyes afire with vengeance. Rage gave him strength to rise again. “You name me Master; is it you Ratsel?”

Ratsel Sibelwind nodded sadly. “I used to keep your forges hot as your apprentice, but those times are but distant memories now. Only one has survived. Follow me,” the young man gestured as he stepped over the ruins. Sven quietly tailed him and watched silently as Ratsel rummaged amongst the debris.

Sweeping away a pile of rubble that was once the roof, Ratsel reached down into an alcove hidden underneath the floorboard to retrieve an elongated package. After brushing off the layers of dust that had accumulated over the years, Ratsel slit open the wrapping to reveal a huge zweihander. The blade glowed as it reflected the moonlight. Solemnly and silently Ratsel handed the sword over to Sven. Speechless at first, Sven could only caress the weapon lovingly as he sang softly to himself:

This is my friend,
See how it glistens,
See this blade shine,
How he smiles,
In the light,
My friend,
My clever friend,
Till now your shine,
Was merely silver,
Friend,
You shall drip rubies,
You’ll soon drip precious rubies…

“The blade is chaste silver, isn’t it?”

“Silver, yes.” Sven murmured as he fingered the edge idly. “Goblins’.”

Crossing his wrists to grip the sword with both hands, Sanger pointed it skywards with a cry, “At last, my arm is complete again!” A tremulous smile graced his face, the first smile after all those years of torment and agony.

“What, may I ask, are you going to do now, Master?”

“I will find Branstein and put an end to him.”

“And after that?”

“I’ll leave.”

“Where to?”

Sven paused momentarily. “I don’t know. Mayhaps Felwood. I can hardly stay here after exacting my revenge.”

“I pray to Elune that we will meet again, master. It has, and will always be a pleasure to serve you.”

“You were ever faithful, Ratsel.” Sven smiled bitterly as he clapped a heavy hand on the shoulder of his former apprentice. “I ask one last duty of you.” With Ratsel’s aid Sven sheathed the sword and slung the scabbard across his back.

“Now tell me, where resides the foul knave?”

“I’ll lead you there myself.”

~~~

In front of Branstein’s manor, Sven parted ways with Ratsel. He drew a deep breath as he turned to face the oaken door-

Now then my friend. Time to your purpose. Patience, enjoy it, revenge can’t be taken in haste.

-then hammered a clenched fist against the wood.

The knocks were answered by a pompous squat man who promptly barked,

“What’s the ruckus about? Who the hell are you?”

“I presume, my good sir, that you would be Ingram Wildschwein?”

“How do you know my-“his words were cut short by a slash of Sven’s sword.

Sven stepped over Ingram’s body and surveyed it coldly as it bled out.

“One down. One more to go.”

Sword at the ready, Sven swiftly ascended to the second floor, slaughtering those unfortunate enough to appear before him as he sprinted from room to room. The screams of the dying pervaded the air as Sven’s sword callously sliced through flesh and bone.

At last he threw open a portal to regard his nemesis sitting comfortably in an armchair, sipping from a teacup and reading a tome.

“Ingram, how many times must I remind you, to NOT ever show your foul temper in this house?” Branstein snapped crossly without even bothering to look up.

“Ingram is dead.”

“What was that?” Branstein’s head whipped up in shock. “Who are you?”

“The years no doubt have changed me sir, but then I suppose the face of a blacksmith… the face of a prisoner in the dock is not particularly memorable.” Sven responded bleakly, his fingers stroking the edge of his dripping sword.

“Sanger Zonvold!” Branstein’s eyes widened in horror as truth sank into him; the truth that the person he had so unjustly deported fifteen years ago was now standing before him, very much alive and seeking his blood.

“SANGER ZONVOLD!” Sven roared as a golden aura of light erupted around him, empowering him with divine strength. He rammed his blade to the hilt into Branstein’s chest, withdrew it in an arc of blood, and then with repetitive strokes clove Branstein’s limp body into two gory halves. But Sven did not stop there; No, this blade would not be stopped until enough blood had been shed.

By the time the deed was done the carcass was beyond recognition. Sven fell upon his knees panting from exerting so much effort. Limply he let his weapon fall upon Branstein’s mutilated remains.

Rest now, my friend. Rest now forever. Sleep now, the untroubled sleep of the angels.

Sven rose and turned to leave, never to return.

Farewell now, my friend.

18/08/2011

每个人人生中总有这样一个女生，那么的温柔，那么的恬静。

她会永远默默的把目标锁定在你的身上，在空荡寂静的回廊里，即使你跑的再快，再乱，你总能看见那个安静的她追随在你的身后。两人之间，没有什么繁琐的言语，更没有多余的眼神，她会在你有所动作的瞬间明白你的意图，默默的跟上，安静的保护你，辅助你。

她应该会是一个缄默，善良的女孩。有着温婉甜腻的嗓音，象净化后一样干净，清纯的笑脸。不断的用她拥有的一切力所能及的帮助你。你会感觉，她帮你修补的不止是肉体的创伤，还有心灵的慰藉，直到有一天你忽然发现对她已经产生了无法名具的依恋。

仅管有时你会调笑她是个小尾巴，仅管有时她也会犯一点点小错误。她始终笑脸盈盈的包容着你的冲动，你偶尔的孩子气。 像一潭波澜不惊的小湖，只泛微微涟漪。她和他始终保持着一种淡调的默契，进退的决心。他很着急的忙着表现自己，于是她会柔柔含笑的看着。

与爱情无关，与寂寞无关。只是金属对锁链一种宿命般的依赖。

呜，我也想要这样贤淑的一个伴侣的说。。。

温柔、为谁留

烛 光晚餐。

桌两边，坐了男人和女人。 　　

“我喜欢你。 ”女人一边摆弄着手里的酒杯，一边淡淡地说着。 　　

“我有老婆。 ”男人摸着自己手上的戒指。 　　

“我不在乎，我只想知道，你的感觉。 你，喜欢我吗？” 　　男人抬起头，打量着对面的女人。 　　

24岁，年轻，有朝气，相当不错的年纪。 　　白皙的皮肤，充满活力的身体，一双明亮的，会说话的眼睛。 　　真是不错的女孩啊，可惜。 　　

“如果你也喜欢我，我不介意作你的情人。 ”女人终于等不下去，追加了一句。 　　

“我爱我妻子。 ”男人坚定地回答。 　　

“你爱她？爱她什么？现在的她，应该已经年老色衰，见不得人了吧。 否则，公司的晚宴，怎么从来不见你带她来……” 　　女人还想继续，可接触到男人冷冷的目光后，打消了念头。 　　

静…… 　　

“你喜欢我什么？”男人开口了。 　　

“成熟，稳重，动作举止很有男人味，懂得关心人，很多很多。 反正，和我之前见过的人不同，你很特别。 ” 　　

“你知道三年前的我什么样子？”男人点了颗烟。 　
　
“不知道。 我不在乎，即使你坐过牢。 ” 　　

“三年前，我就是你现在眼里的那些普通男人。 ”男人没理会女人，继续说。 　　

“普通大学毕业，工作不顺心，整天喝酒，发脾气。 对女孩子爱理不理，还因为去夜总会找小姐，被警察抓过。 ” 　　

“那怎么……”女人有了兴趣，想知道是什么让男人转变的。 　　

“因为她？” 　　

“嗯。 她那个人，好像总能看到事情的内在。 教我很多东西，让我别太计较得失，别太在乎眼前的事，尽量待人和善。 那时的我在她面前，就像少不更事的孩子。 那时真的很奇怪，倔脾气的我，偏偏最听她的话。 按照她说的，接受现实，我知道自己没用，就努力工作。 那年年底，工作上稍微有了起色，我们结婚了。 ” 　　男人弹了弹烟灰，继续说着。 　　

“那时，真是苦日子。 两个人，一张床，家里的家具也少得可怜。 知道吗？结婚一年后，我才给她买了第一枚钻戒，存了大半年的钱呢。 当然，是背着她存的。 若她知道了，是肯定不让的。 ” 　　

“那阵子，因为烟酒弄得自己身体不好。 大冬天的，她每天晚上睡前还要给我熬汤喝。 那味道，也只有她做得出。 ” 　　男人沉醉于回忆里，忘记了时间，只是不停地讲述着往事。 　　

而女人，也丝毫没有打断的意思，静静地听着。 　

等男人注意到时间，已经晚上10点了。 　　

“啊，对不起，没注意时间，已经这么晚了。 ”男人抱歉地笑了笑。 “现在，你可以理解嘛？我不可能，也不会，做对不起她的事。 ” 　　

“啊，知道了。 输给这样子的人，心服口服了！”女人无奈地摇了摇头。

“不过我到了她的年纪，会更棒的。 ” 　　

“嗯。 那就可以找到更好的男人。 不是吗？ 很晚了，家里的汤要冷了，我送你回去。 ”男人站起身，想送女人。 　　

“不了，我自己回去可以了。 ”女人摆了摆手。

“回去吧，别让她等急了。 ” 　　

男人会心地笑了笑，转身要走。 　　

“她漂亮嘛？” 　　

“……嗯，很美。 ” 　　

男人的身影消失在夜色中，留下女人，对着蜡烛，发呆。 　　

男人回到家，推开门，径直走进卧室，打开了台灯。 沿着床边，他坐了下来。 　　

“老婆，已经第四个了。 干嘛让我变得这么好，好多人喜欢我呀。 搞不好，我会变心呀。 干吗把我变得这么好，自己却先走了？我，我一个人，好孤单呀……” 　　男人哽咽地说着，终于泣不成声。 　　

眼泪，一滴滴从男人的脸颊流下，打在手心里的相框上。 昏暗的灯光中，旧照片里弥漫着的是已逝女子淡淡的温柔。

05/08/2011

开始觉得马来西亚真不是人住的地方了。 整个国家变了。那天刚到家，第二天要去办护照什么的了。结果去到了出入境管理的那栋楼，具体名字不知道。结果我的天啊，居然是一片人山人海，一片外劳山外劳海。

“不是吧。。他们在这里干嘛啊？”我问了问随行的妈妈。

“哦，政府说要给他们合法入境，叫什么漂白。”

我靠，之前这些外劳都是非法入境的，来这里过见不得光的日子，晚上才能出来混。抢劫，强奸这些难道少了他们的份么？现在还说要来个什么漂白，让他们全部变合法入境。这不是在坑爹吗？其实呢，依我所见。。用漂白来把非法外劳全引诱出来，然后将之一网打尽。岂不痛快！

好吧，先不说那个。讲到办护照，当然少不了要拍照吧！结果。。拍照的那个马来叔叔说了好多，什么头发不能盖到额头啊，什么不可以戴眼镜啊，又要看到耳朵啊。。什么什么的。。到最后，放进护照里的那张照片和我完全不一样。这样去到了机场要悲剧的啊！

连续的几天，开车出去走了。发觉马来西亚的司机们有够霸道，够自私的。

哎哟你妹啊，让一个又不会怀孕！

然后有的突然冲出来，尼玛吓人啊？！乃以为是极速飞车么？自己的生命不珍惜是你的问题，别牵涉到别人啊！想死的话路边的大树啊，墙壁啊，各种东西让你选，不用是我吧！才到家一个星期多，差点出了N次的车祸了都！

车子还得了。。那些骑单车的。。马路可不是你们爷爷留给你们的啊！开单车别开在马路中间啊！靠边走啊！挡路的你们懂不！好狗不挡路啊！

还有啊，puasa啊，晚上街边开什么卖吃的，开在路边还好，不要开在路上啊！占了半条路，想堵死人么？ 还有啊，你们这些在路边这样开当口的，有执照没有啊？！ 警察呢？好开心地在买吃的，完全无视了商人们没挂牌的现实！然后看到是华人印度人没挂牌的，各种抓，各种受贿啊！所谓的mesra，带着微笑服务。。貌似是塞了你们点咖啡钱才笑的吧！

靠，这个国家。。没前途了

20/07/2011

琉璃叔，一路走好，我们魔导吧的都会想念你的

虽然我没有舞姐，歌姐他们那么认识你

虽然我和你还真没什么说过话

就那天我粉了你，你也粉回我而已

记得要回来诈尸哦

要常回来看我们

魔导吧是我们相遇的地方

同时

也是我们的家

要记得

当世界上所有的灯都暗了

魔导吧的灯永远为你而亮

当世界上所有的门都关了

魔导吧的门永远为你而开

另外的

大牛，莫，希望你们能看开点

给客服点时间

密码是能找回来的

不想在我九月回来时候看到你们都不在了

其实哪，写在这边，你们能看到吗？你们能了解到我杂乱的感想吗

短短几句，是为感想

12/06/2011

今天看着一个女生在魔导贴吧里写的原创小说。。觉得蛮给力的， 故事大略是说有个少女为了救神圣天堂中的人，结果自己被黑龙血喷中了，中了毒，自己的爱人和朋友们怎么没放弃，没歧视她的。。
其中为这段最有感觉了，截来分享下。。

“她沉睡在魔法山脊冰冷的冰块中。
她不知道自己到底沉睡了多久，元素和卡拉秋每次为她治疗，看着她的手臂上逐渐增加的紫色花纹，
她不知道，元素头一次，为了一个跟自己没有任何关系的人，在冰棺前，留下滚烫的泪水，卡拉秋上前抱住元素，一次一次的叹息。
她不知道，祭司他们在狮揭的巢穴里一次次倒下又一次次站起来，他们心里只有一个信念;为魔导抢回解药，她不知道祭司，多么想再次看见她的笑容。
她不知道在狮蝎的面前，四个人的力量是多么的脆弱，战神咆哮着发动台风，卷起地下的沙石；剑圣呐喊着疯狂的挥动的手中的剑，前方一道一道刀刃形状的剑气；贤者举着无形的雷神之锤，恨意的重重一击。大地因他们颤抖。
她更不知道的是，当祭司为三个人使用奇迹之手的一瞬间，狮蝎的重力球将他压在地上，祭司嘴边的一丝鲜血。

最后，狮揭终于被四个人齐心协力的打败，巨大的身躯倒在地上，扬起灰尘。祭司夺过解药的瓶子，满意的闭上了眼睛。

她看不见，听不着，摸不到，可是，她的眼角突然溢出一颗晶莹的泪滴，寒冷将它结成晶莹的水晶。
她在沉睡中心痛。”

我说呢，祭祀给力啊。

30/04/2011

Well I guess another one bites the dust.

Shit happens. I know.

Time to start filling up my sleeves.

They aren't just going to be trump cards.

This time I will make sure.

They will be aces in the holes.

28/04/2011

"Kiasu"

Classic Hokkien word, defining a person who is afraid of losing.

Well to be honest, in a bad way.

I personally don't think being "kiasu" is THAT bad a thing.

Well of course unless people bring it to the extremes.

Say.. if you try to trample over other people by impressing your higher ups.

Or maybe if you sabotage others...

Well the worst case would definitely be :

If it leads you to dishonesty.

I guess that'd probably be the end for you, no more turning back.

16/04/2011

Been having some issues floating around in my mind.

And as a result of that, I've been like super down these days.

Something has to be done.

For this has to end.

Or I really will not be able to move forward.

Will history repeat itself?

Or will a new story be born?

Well I'm not going to know until it happens, right?

*crosses fingers*

11/04/2011

After the incident 6 years ago.

The one that broke the boy's heart and left him with a fear of proposing to the girl he liked.

Now that one has finally appeared.

Will the boy be able to open up his heart and muster up courage?

Or will he continue being a coward...

...exactly the way he was 6 years ago?

おまえ、それをできるのか、少年？

08/04/2011

You’re being yourself and I’m being myself. If we could understand everything about each other…

The seasons have come and gone so many times since that day and even today I’m so grateful.
With our sight set on the other side of the alley our white breaths dance.
Grabbing my hand so hard it almost hurts you pull me along as you move forward.

I wanted to kiss you right away hidden behind the vending machines.
Shyly we stared at each other and the kindness overflowed.

You’re being yourself and I’m being myself. If we could understand everything about each other
The two of us would be as one.
No matter how small the happiness I feel we’ll be able to find it.
I was able to be kind thanks to you.

Even if I cut my hair or change my makeup you don’t notice but
When I look worried you understand right away.
When you kindly ask me “What’s wrong?” I’m completely moved to tears.

I look down and hold my knees since you’re next to me.
On days like this I can be a crybaby and greedy.

You’re being yourself. Don’t ever change. Even in a timeless future
The two of us will be as one.
Even without things like promises I feel we can trust in each other.
I was able to be strong thanks to you.

Wanting to hold you right away I stop my frozen legs.
Piled up in the depths of my heart is a warmth such as this.

You’re being yourself and I’m being myself. If I could take in everything
No matter how small the happiness, no matter how small the joy,
I’ll be able to feel them thanks to you.

ISML 2011 Preliminary Period — Seeding, Day 2 Ballot

ARENA 01: Misaka Mikoto [Tachibana Kanade] Hirasawa Yui [Senjōgahara Hitagi] C.C.

ARENA 02: Nakano Azusa [Gokō Ruri (Kuroneko)] Nakamura Yuri [Sengoku Nadeko] Kuroi Mato

ARENA 03: Shana [Eucliwood Hellscythe] [Saber] Holo Louise Vallière

ARENA 04: [Akiyama Mio] [Charlotte Dunois] Kasugano Sora Sanzen'in Nagi Fate Testarossa

ARENA 05: [Katsura Hinagiku] [Kōsaka Kirino] Nymph Shiina Mafuyu Konjiki no Yami

ARENA 06: Aisaka Taiga Yui [Sakagami Tomoyo] Haruna [Seraphim]

ARENA 07: [Nagato Yuki] [Hiiragi Kagami] Huang Lingyin Kotobuki Tsumugi Laura Bodewig

ARENA 08: [Victorique de Blois] Last Order [Fujibayashi Kyō] Index L. Prohibitorum Shirai Kuroko

ARENA 09: [Suzumiya Haruhi] Tōsaka Rin Asahina Mikuru Hirasawa Ui [Iwasawa Asami]

ARENA 10: Izumi Konata [Shinonono Hōki] Furukawa Nagisa Aragaki Ayase [Shiina]

ISML 2011 Preliminary Period — Phase III, Day 3 Balloting

ARENA 01: Kotobuki Tsumugi Elucia de Lute Irma Ichinose Kotomi Shirai Kuroko Oshino Shinobu [Maria] [Shiina Mafuyu] [Himeji Mizuki]

ARENA 02: Hirasawa Ui [Hiiragi Tsukasa] Fate Testarossa [Cecilia Alcott] [Illyasviel von Einzbern] Yūki Mikan Index L. Prohibitorum Nakagawa Kanon

ARENA 03: [Akemi Homura] Ibuki Fūko Ōkami Ryōko Louise Vallière Sanzen'in Nagi [Tainaka Ritsu] [Iwasawa Asami] Astraea

ARENA 04: [Takamachi Nanoha] Sakurano Kurimu C.C. Ika-Musume [Shiina] Kawashima Ami Haruna [Tomoe Mami]

ARENA 05: Merry Nightmare Saten Ruiko Kushieda Minori [Akaba Chizuru] [Seraphim] Holo [Laura Bodewig] Kirishima Shōko

ARENA 06: [Shiina Minatsu] Konjiki no Yami Kiriya Nozomi [Aragaki Ayase] Kanzaki Kaori Shiomiya Shiori [Kuroi Mato] Ikaros

ISML 2011 Preliminary Period — Phase III, Day 2 Balloting

ARENA 01: Ika-Musume [Kotobuki Tsumugi] Kinomoto Sakura [Cecilia Alcott] [Shiina Mafuyu] Serizawa Fumino Lala Satalin Deviluke Ibuki Fūko

ARENA 02: [Kushieda Minori] Isurugi Mio [Hiiragi Tsukasa] [Shiina] Sanzen'in Nagi Busujima Saeko Furude Rika Sakurano Kurimu

ARENA 03: Furude Hanyū Yūki Mikan [Maria] [Ayuzawa Misaki] Okazaki Ushio [Kuroi Mato] Louise Vallière Index L. Prohibitorum

ARENA 04: [Saginomiya Isumi] Sōryū Asuka Langley Elucia de Lute Irma [Akemi Homura] Himeji Mizuki [Saten Ruiko] C.C. Hecate

ARENA 05: [Seraphim] [Illyasviel von Einzbern] Rose Astraea [Iwasawa Asami] Tamura Manami Nakagawa Kanon Kotegawa Yui

ARENA 06: Konjiki no Yami Ayatsuji Tsukasa [Kawashima Ami] Ōkami Ryōko [Ichinose Kotomi] Holo Hanato Kobato [Tomoe Mami]

ARENA 07: Merry Nightmare [Laura Bodewig] Oshino Shinobu Yūno Arashiko Takamachi Nanoha [Ryūgū Rena] [Aragaki Ayase] Shirai Kuroko

ARENA 08: Kiriya Nozomi [Kanzaki Kaori] Suigintō Tainaka Ritsu [Amakusa Shino] Ikaros Fate Testarossa [Akaba Chizuru]

ARENA 09: Shiomiya Shiori [Kirishima Shōko] [Ryōgi Shiki] Uiharu Kazari Haruna [Shiina Minatsu] Kaname Madoka Hirasawa Ui

29/03/2011

Time is really trickling away fast. Especially when you have your every single day filled with different things. It barely feels like a week since my last winter break yet in reality it already has been almost 2 months.

......

Scratch all that, in spite of all the stuff I've looked through and studied...

I highly dread the end of this semester.

Gonna need more than just Kansho and Bakuya to make it through =/

And I really want to get back to my wallpaper-making days.

27/03/2011

"Oh well, I fell sick. At this time of the year. Well that has to be expected... since everyone around's falling sick as well. First Suren, then Ee Lin, then Wai Kit (I'd say he's 80% responsible for me falling sick this time, the dude sits besides me in class, every time he coughs I feel things land on my sleeve....)... and now to me it comes!"

"OH SHIT"

That's probably what the me 3 years ago would've said. Now, well I guess I AM prepared.... with Cetirizine and Albuterol at my disposal, and even Augmentin if things turn nasty....

Coming to drugs, just when I thought I was terrible at pharmacology, I saw a friend of mine from high school, currently studying medicine in Indonesia, asking her fellow mate to take Metapyrone for her fever. And I was left there thinking... what was the relation of a 11-beta monooxygenase inhibitor to an antipyretic... till the sick one came and clarified that she meant Methampyrone. Which elicited this response from me.

"Good grief I never realized the significance of drug sound-alike/look-alike issues till now"

Well I guess that's why Indonesian students will always remain at the bottom of the specialists' black books.

Personally I feel even more sicker of people who try too hard to attract attention. At least please learn to differentiate between 2 totally different words... oh wait, on second thought it'd be better to go back and re-learn the whole damn language. We wouldn't want you to have the same issues as Indonesian students next time now, do we? Sound-alike issues?

And some people, not naming anyone here, of course... but

どこまで優等生なんだよ?

結局、お前はただの情けないやつだけだ。

ISML 2011 Preliminary Period — Phase II, Day 4 Ballot

ARENA 01: Elucia de Lute Irma [Tōsaka Rin]

ARENA 02: Last Order [Iwasawa Asami]

ARENA 03: [Shinonono Hōki] Ikaros

ARENA 04: [Charlotte Dunois] Aragaki Ayase

ARENA 05: Ika-Musume [Nymph]

ARENA 06: Huang Lingyin [Sakurano Kurimu]

ARENA 07: Kasugano Sora [Hirasawa Ui]

ARENA 08: [Nakamura Yuri] Konjiki no Yami

ARENA 09: Hirasawa Yui [Index L. Prohibitorum]

ARENA 10: Kotobuki Tsumugi [Asahina Mikuru]

ARENA 11: [Sakagami Tomoyo] Sanzen'in Nagi

ARENA 12: [Saber] C.C.

ARENA 13: [Fujibayashi Kyō] Holo

ARENA 14: Furukawa Nagisa [Seraphim]

ARENA 15: [Senjōgahara Hitagi] Louise Vallière

ARENA 16: Sengoku Nadeko [Abstained] Shiina Mafuyu

20/03/2011

What the hell is the meaning of this? You take my book, and tell someone to return it to me after such a long time? If I didn't ask you in the first place, I wouldn't have known, and you'd have suffered even more the next moment I met you. Really now, how irresponsible could one get?

Fortunately for you I'm a bit slick, so I do have some cards up my sleeve in case stuff like this happened.... but you're still not escaping my wrath tomorrow, for this isn't the first time such a thing has happened.

Let this be a lesson for both of us. For you to not come borrow my books ever again.... and for me to not lend you my books ever again.

"It takes a lifetime to build up lasting trust, and only a few minutes to lose it all."

While tragic, I have to say,

"Congratulations, you just made it into the deeper pages of my black book."

Au revoir.